i just want to be seen as normal |
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All I want in life is to be seen as normal, for people to leave me alone, and to have lots of hot guys. It seems I'll never get the first two.
I go out and get pissed for myself, not for the benefit of other people.
I don't want to be bothered by people calling me an inspiration. I don't want attention from random women. (hot guys I want attention from) I don't want to hear about your friend in a wheelchair. I don't want to be asked if I need the toilet multiple times by a complete stranger. (Yes, this actually happened) I don't want to talk to people period. I don't want people crying in my face. I don't want to to be seen as an advocate just for going out of the house. Ditto for teacher or inspiration.
Luckily most times I'm too intoxicated to get angry.
People will project whatever they want on to me. I'm just sick of this. I recognize that I have no control over how strangers see me.
Can people just shut up about their projections? This would make me happier. I know strangers will never shut up about whatever bullshit they're projecting on to me, or their simple attitudes.
I am burdened by my disability, and even more burdened by people telling me I am amazing for doing the most mundane shit.
I am really not that good of a person to take joy in people telling me that I inspire them, or telling me I am special (I absolutely hate this word)
Complete strangers will call me a good person. How the fuck would they know? I am a twisted person, and most times I want them to fuck off.
You can admire me for my bluntness, humor, mind, and achievements. However thinking I am amazing for doing things everyone else does despite my disability is shallow and against everything I've taught for the past decade and a half.
I know you don't see many people with disabilities out. Society makes it so fucking difficult to do so, then says it's good to see you out and about. Society can fuck off.
I stopped going to the gay club years ago, because it's just too difficult to find an assistant. Not that I have any chance of hooking up with the people I want, so oh well. I wish that I could go occasionally, but the good part of it is upstairs. I mainly go to concerts, and drum and bass gigs, I don't even like drum and basse that much.
I don't really feel like I can do stand up comedy because it's such a hassle to go out. Luckily I have absolutely no desire to do this. I don't like people, and don't want to spend my time entertaining them. I could do comedy if I could be fucked, but I can't. I like computers, people not so much. The recent referendum proved to me the majority of voters are fucking dumb and not worth entertaining. I knew people were stupid long before this though. I definitely don't want to be surrounded by people for my career, but I could live with being a DJ. But then I'm irritated by people very easily.
Of course there are perks with the status quo. Occasional free drinks and I mostly get to the front at raves. I've met Fatboy Slim, danced with Anastacia. Those were some fucking good times.
However, to me, I am just a guy living my life, I don't want any special attention or treatment, unless it benefits me haha.
I just want to live my life in peace, without people telling me I'm amazing for having drinks. Apparently I am never going to get what I want.
I just want to be seen as normal. |
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Cripple Lives Matter |
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Now I don't want to take anything away from the Black Lives Matter movement despite the title. I am doing this for the pun. I support B.L.M.
However I've noticed the lack of visibility when it comes to disability issues and feel like we need visibility too.
People with intellectual issues are also killed by police at a higher rate. The police do specifically target black people; especially in the U.S.A.
Police reform should be a shared goal.
When a mother killed her daughter that had a disability there was sympathy for the mother, that's appalling. State services should have taken over.
The media (including left-wing media) largely doesn't cover our issues. We get absolutely feeble coverage compared with B.L.M., women's march or the Me Too movement.
I have to make special arrangements to go into some buildings because they're inaccessible. Many people with disabilities aren't considered for jobs, also many black people also face job discrimination.
Segregation largely exists in the disability community; segregated seating, disability homes, sports. Races tend to hang out with their own, but at least legally segregation by race is supposed to not be a thing.
There was a complaint about how minorities are less likely to be leads in Hollywood. People with disabilities are still trying to make it socially unacceptable for abled bodied people to play characters with disabilities.
I am not in the "All Lives Matter" camp B.L.M. is not saying black lives matter and to hell with everyone else, no! They're just saying black lives seem to matter less.
There are legitimate issues that B.L.M. is trying to address. I simply wish that the media would pick up our issues more frequently too. |
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Is disability a negative word? |
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I am probably the wrong person to answer this question because I call myself a cripple, mainly because I find it funny.
I have always use the word disability to identify that part about myself.in a serious context.
Let's interpret the word.
Dis meaning can't.
Ability speaks for itself.
Disability, do not have the ability.
I am not sure what the problem is here.
I cannot walk, it is a disability. It is descriptive.
I never considered disability a negative word until people started bringing it up. So please just stop, I actually have shit to do and society's insecurities with the word disability is something I don't need.
A friend told me the term differently abled came from abled bodied people being uncomfortable with the word disability and she doesn't know a single person with a disability that identifies as differently abled. She is a disability advocate, she would know a lot of people.
So I think differently abled is the more negative term since it rejects what we call ourselves. I am going to stop using the term.
I didn't like being considered different anyway, to me this is anti equality.
I still can't stand the word special, and you can add vulnerable to that list too. I encounter men uncomfortable with disability, mainly in the bedroom, and this shit doesn't help.
Am I the type to make a language issue about my ability to get laid? Of course I am!
If the disability community rejects the word disability at large then I will reconsider my position. Until then why is our time being wasted with language that nobody in the affected community wants?
I think that it's best to honour what people call themselves. If in doubt ask. |
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Questions about your disability |
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People may be interested in aspects your disability when you are out and about. Some people find this annoying. The only thing that really annoys me is when people look at my screen without asking; mind your own business! People get a shock when I am writing a rant blog with lots of swear words.
People often find others asking questions about their disability annoying. I am only really annoyed if random people start asking questions on Facebook, I have better things to do than be a disability encyclopedia. Feel free to buy my books though! At least the random people that ask about my disability offliine don't ask sexual questions like some people do on Facebook. Though I don't like answering questions about my computer; because I am developing my own accessibility software and don't want to give business away to another company.
I like to imagine how things would come across if people did them based on race as opposed to disability. If someone came up and asked questions based on the fact someone was Asian it would be weird. I can see how it would be frustrating to some people but I personally view it as normal. It depends who you ask. Some people love talking about themselves, others don't. I am not an all disability all the time person but have don't see the harm in answering questions offliine. Online I am too busy, people are best not bothering me!
Please do not message me asking if I wear diapers; I do not have the time to answer your bizarre questions. Two people have done this in the past year. They claim to be in wheelchairs. Even if this was the true it seems a weird inquiry. If such people are reading this I would suggest looking into a toilet seat and an alarm. Again I don\'t have the time to answer your questions; I actually have stuff to do. |
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Talk fests and stories |
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I am not a fan of talk fests, I am not a fan of stories about people with disabilities. Talk fests are only bareable if I am getting paid or it involves free travel. I am not going to volenteer my time to an organization that I don't feel productive in. I have better things to do with my time. I also don't see the point of going to random social events, though I am anti social.
I also have no desire to spend time reading stories about people with disabilities. Firstly I spend a minimum of three days a week on disability projects. I can't be all disability all the time. Secondly there are millions of people with disabilities. Nobody got time for that. This is the same regarding homosexuals. I am not going to spend time reading stories about random people just because they're gay or have a disability. I would rather spend my life solving problems.
You can get problems to solve from stories I guess. Same with talk fests. Like I said I will do them only if I am getting something Out of it but while there I try to as productive as possible and try to note down problems. I may enjoy it in the moment. |
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Do people with disabilities want to be teachers? |
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This is off the cuff. It seems society just assigns roles to us. "You're an inspiration", "You're a teacher". Have they ask us whether we want to be these things? Can't we just be normal without the special titles?
Complaining about being a teacher would be hypocritical since I do speeches at universities and write books. Great books, you should buy them! Universities should also hire me, especially overseas universities! (It's my blog, I'll say what I like) The difference here is I genuinely like sharing knowledge vs inadvertently being a teacher.
Inadvertently is a key point. While you can't avoid inadvertently inspiring people or teaching them; is it really necessary to call people that have disabilities these things? The answer is a clear no from me. Yes I'm complaining about language, but this also has a sociological aspect. By calling us inspirations and teachers you are elevating our status in society. Most of us want to be considered normal; this is not the way to do init.
I guess it's no different from society assigning gender roles. However society should progress, certain views should go away. Labeling us inspirations specifically by journalists is not helpful and should go away. |
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Cannabis treatment inaccessibility rant |
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I think we have established that this is the blog that I do when I am pissed off about disability issues. Let's continue that.
I never considered cannabis treatment for Cerebral Palsy until recently. I started to look into it and it could slow my movements; possibly act as seizure medication plus pain relief as I continue to grow old. The movements are important as my muscles age much faster than regular people. Plus since I wouldn't move as much I could probably eat less, or put on weight if I need to which change can be useful if you are sick and can't keep anything down for a while. I actually hate eating; it's the most boring thing in the world. Any excuse to eat less sounds tremendous.
My health is being compromised because the New Zealand government has senseless rules on cannabis based on outdated and stupid rules. Oh I forgot racist too; the Nixon administration wanted to target "blacks and hippies" so they made cannabis illegal. Fuck the fact it causes less damage than alcohol; they through that report in the bin. This is why I say US politics matters; they export their insanity. Luckily the people are reversing course.
Oh but we can't legalize cannabis; that would cut into the private prison industrial complex that makes money by locking people up. These companies are vultures and parasites on society that survive by the government ruining people's lives on the basis on what they stick into their bodies. Disgusting industry.
I should be able to stick whatever the hell I like into my body. If I wanted to stick chocolate coated butterflies into my body; I should be allowed to do that too. Even worse they are me my choice of medical treatment, this feels like a human rights issue. If they question its effectiveness then why the fuck do they allow homeopathy?
I have no interest in getting high; in fact people are starting to look at least me funny because I refuse to do it these days. I am simply after a THC free version or low THC to see if it is beneficial for my life long disability. It is fucked up that I am denied this opportunity. I may look into medical tourism. A cannabis refugee in California sounds wonderful, but that may be pushing things. Apparently all I can do in New Zealand is try for approval each year. This is fucked! |
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Interruptions as a cripple |
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It is hard to be a workahollic when you are constantly interrupted due to your disability. It would be especially inconvenient if you work 9-5 Monday to Friday. I am lucky; I can adjust my days. For example when trialing a stand up wheelchair for the first time I moved a day off from Sunday to Wednesday. This ultimately meant less non work time.
Other people have surgeries which can be more inconvenient, especially if they go wrong; then it is a permanent interruption. This can be a problem if you have a job; you may lose it. In my opinion surgeries only when necessary is best.
However while inconvenient there is usually a quality of life trade off, unless it's pointless government bureaucracy, which from experience does happen. There is nothing you can do about that apart from writing passive aggressive comments on the forms. Apart from that, if you want the best care I guess you have to make the sacrifice of your time. Although if some disability assessment work can be done on weekends or the evenings that could help solve the problem with people with disabilities who work regular hours. |
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We are not snowflakes |
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With the hype about the term snowflakes; I was thinking people regularly think those with disabilities are snowflakes. Two examples come to mind.
Sex: People are occasionally worried about hurting me when I am trying to get them into bed. Perhaps they assume I have brittle bones. Some are uncomfortable with me being non verbal. This is why I advocate for normality instead of being special. If we're considered normal perhaps this lessens. This is just a theory and really not based on anything scientific.
Concerts people are concerned about me being in the mosh pit. I have said many times in other blogs that I like being among people rather than being in segregated area. I am perfectly fine, I know my limits and can and have adjusted my spot depending on the situation. Just let me be like everybody else.
In addition to the two points (I don't plan blogs out) humour comes to mind. Apparently it's impolite to say cripples because it may offend. Yeah fuck that. I am in the mindset people should be called what they want to be called. It's a bad idea to blanket ban language. Ironically there are snowflakes in this area that assume that they speak for everybody. The truth is that nobody agrees on language, someone will always complain about something, some can be snowflakes but most people have a sense of humour. So the best solution is trial and error. Providing your intentions are genuine, it'll be fine.
We're not snowflakes, people shouldn't treat us as such. |
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Political observation |
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I have noticed it's just randomly accepted that people in politics may have no prior experience in the portfolios they hold; this acceptance is puzzling. Portfolios also change hands which is also more puzzling. Surely you want experience people who are dedicated and can maintain a good understanding of the sectors they reside over. Apparently this is not the way humanity does things for some bizarre reasons.
What this means is you may get random people residing over the disability portfolio. In some cases they may be rich elites that may rather be on a yacht than talk to disability groups.
I am going to suggest something controversial. (I mean this is a frequent occurrence and I don't really need to announce I am about to say something controversial.) It is widely known that the right wing gets power more than the left depending on the country. A good strategy would be have people run as candidates in both parties. I know that there are many conservative minded people that have disabilities; I am clearly not one of them if you're familiar with me. I'm not even interested in running as a lefty; parliament would either bore me to death or I'll end up throwing things as people.
If you're conservative and have a disability consider running as a candidate, hell same thing if you're a liberal, and even independent. Of course don't waste your time, don't run as the 50th candidate on the Green Party, or any candidate of the Green Party in the USA. Run in safe seats, don't gamble on seats you may not win. I'll certainly just target safe seats if I were a candidate or managing one. Does that make me an opportunist? Probably. I'm fine with that! The goal here is to win. You don't win by losing. Hell, if your left-wing party is practically useless like the Democrates in the United States or Labor in Australia, why not just run as a conservative even if you're ideologically left-wing. The right have invaded the left for decades, why not do the same?
If you don't want to run as a candidate why not create a cross party group and encourage candidates? We need representation wherever we can get it! Especially in places most of us are ideologically opposed to. |
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